Resetting the course

I don’t know how many times I drove by, dropped in and chatted at NCFIT-Redwood City. It was more than a few but less than a dozen. My body would tighten, my heart would race and I would get a nervy feeling in my voice box. In my fifth year in the Bay Area, I knew I was heading in the wrong direction health wise and I was frustrated. 

I had been working out 3-5 times per week for the better part of a year. I used an app for spin workouts. I really enjoyed them and I enjoyed how easy it was to go with my colleague to the gym at lunch time. I pushed hard but I knew I wasn’t getting a great workout in. I sweated more than I thought possible. But I knew deep down that my body was in a bad way. I didn’t need a scale to tell me that I wasn’t moving the needle (although I religiously beat myself up as the scale was hovering between 265 and 269 pounds). I knew because I wasn’t active while I was coaching rugby…I couldn’t even demonstrate movements anymore. I knew because I was sizing up on shirts. I knew because it hurt to walk downhill. I knew because I couldn’t sit on the ground with my legs crossed. I was a rapidly aging and deteriorating individual. 

More often than not, I evaded the tough choice: to step out of my comfort zone and take action. It took courage to say that I didn’t like what I had become. It was hard to remember that I was worth my own effort. I was failing at taking care of myself because I wasn’t ready to try to succeed at changing my life. Finally, I was ready to start taking action.

I knew I couldn’t go on this journey alone. My wife, Julie, is an inspiration because she loves me as I am and for who I want to be in the future. Her patience was long lasting as I took the better part of 18 months to make the decision to start. The second was I needed a community. A community with coaches that would help me invest in myself. A group of like minded individuals that thrived on seeing others succeed and were working on building themselves up. Which brought me to my frequent ventures to NCFIT-RWC. 

So I finally joined and started classes in February of 2020. I have the utmost respect for my coaches because they engaged me, repeated themselves and they have had patience. Capra, Brittany, Matt, Ryan and Ali have all been patient. They’ve recognized that sometimes “I can’t” is because I’m broken but at other times I just need the push to go harder. I’ve learned that scaling happens for many reasons. Sometimes I am not there physically. Sometimes I am not ready technically. Sometimes I am not there mentally. All are great reasons to scale. I still make mistakes on scaling, but I am learning to listen and I am learning to keep my vision aiming at the long term: being an active husband and dad that explores the world with my family. 

The other part, I had to become a part of the community. This was hard. I felt like a fraud. I used to CrossFit but now I was just a dude with flabs. I was afraid of what people would think. I was scared of what others would say. But I knew that a part of the journey was connecting with people. I did this the same way I did in rugby: a few complaints here (yes, I bitch to much), a few jokes there (sometimes they are a little crass) and often times just being a little too loud. Over time, I just kept talking to people. I was the chatty because I need that connection. I tried to cheer for others (which is hard when they are cheering for you because you are finishing last!) I asked people’s names (sometimes I forgot and I had to ask again!) But I have made friends and it really keeps me looking forward coming each day. I am really grateful that they put up with me…to be honest, I know I am an acquired taste!

So what has happened? Well first let’s look at what I tried before. Whenever I started in the last 5 years, I wanted results in 30 days. I wanted to see something change: whether performance or with body composition. This time I set my goals very differently. I set it on days in the gym (4 days at NCFIT a week) and being able to improve my movements (being able to hike longer and recover quicker). So I committed to both of these things. Slowly, I had small wins like a movement win by completing a partner lunge workout (yep, I had found my ability to lunge again!) I was able to front squat including a front rack with a stable shoulder (yep, too much time in the front row equals jacked shoulder joints 🤦‍♂️). I was able to seek out scaling options that allowed me to keep working out (definitely humbling but worth it 🤷‍♂️ ). I’ve had more than 30 weeks of 4+ workouts in a week! These are wins for me.

Then in June, the weight started to drop off…it was like the 90 day challenge was over and now I was going to start seeing the results. The weight came off slowly, but it was coming off consistently. Of course, I was stoked. By the middle of August, I was about 20 pounds down and I wanted to stabilize. See if I could hold a weight…which I have done. The other major break through came with the fact that I could sit on the floor CROSSLEGGED! That was fucking huge. Before sitting on the floor with my kids was miserable, so that I day was able to meditate sitting on the floor was an unbelievable feeling. I was hitting my goals and I was getting results…I just had to learn patience. 

Yet even as I start to achieve my goals, I know the journey is just beginning. I know I’m ready to keep turning up, being present and remembering that the work gets done with small intentional actions over the long run. This is just me trying to celebrate the wins and remember a piece of the journey. 

Stress Eating

Yep, I do it. It’s normally chocolate and it generally turns into a routine. This creates the need to break the habits. I know that I am doing it and I want to find ways to limit this. This past week, I’ve traveled the length of California with the rugby programs. A camp in San Diego, a camp in Santa Barbara and a play-off weekend in Chico. During this time, I’ve worked out a little and eaten with control except for the sweets.

It’s a stressful week from following up on delegation, selections, injuries, travel, planning, adapting, etc. I need to find a different coping mechanism over going out to buy two to five chocolate bars and chowing down on them…it leads to feeling like crap and emotionally beating myself up.

I’m going to try to work on buying a fizzy water and doing a short meditation or exercise piece to help cope with the stress. It is going to take practice, which means a lot of failure. But I will get there.

Training & Eating

So the last few weeks, I’ve been eating according to the Slow Carb Diet…it’s been going well. It’s cut out the snacking and it’s something that has helped create a standard menu. I actually like the routine of the menu planning. It makes things a lot easier and straight forward. We know what we are going to buy from the store, the kids know what is coming for dinner and to be honest, the beans are tasty. The only issue is the farts…to be honest, I don’t mind them but I think they annoy the rest of the family!

The last couple of weeks has been difficult with the exercise. Between Julie traveling and being a full time Daddy Day Camp plus medical stuff, I haven’t been able to be consistent. However, I’ve hit cardio or strength 5 times each week and I think that is a real positive. It isn’t always possible to be able to maximize the workouts, but if you maintain the consistency through hard times then as the situation changes you have the base. It is going to be what I am working towards as I look to kick it up a gear as I go on. 

So what is the result? My clothes are fitting differently. I don’t know if I’m lighter or less circumference, but it feels that way. It gives motivation to continue with the eating and the exercise. It makes me feel better…not just mentally, but my body feels better. 

Trying Something New

So the working out took a bit of a hit last week. My oldest daughter and I were both under the weather. I worked out twice, but it was a deliberate decision. I didn’t want to push my body and set myself back. Saturday I was able to hit a row and a EMOM, so that felt like a good end to the week.

For a while, Julie and I have talked about our approach to diet. To me, I want to change behavior and create routines that allow us to reduce the number of decisions that we make on a weekly basis. These take up time and although we need variety, we don’t need that much of it. I think we’ve spent more time talking about what we should cook instead of cooking something and eating dinner with our kids.

So we’ve done a 30 day paleo challenge. It felt good, but it didn’t create the ongoing behavior change. It’s very restrictive and we struggled to stay full. There is a part to food for us that is beyond eating, it’s enjoying the food. I know it’s an excuse and we could’ve worked to make it happen, but it was a lot of decisions with a lot of failure.

We decided to try to the Slow Carb Diet made famous by Tim Ferriss. The idea is to take out most of the bleached, white carbs but to maintain focus by using legumes (beans, lentils, etc) to create satiety with vegetables and protein. From a food preparation perspective, it is a little easier to create larger meals at a price that we can afford. Also, the cheat day once a week gives us something to look forward to and put the cravings into a day.

Will this work? I don’t know. I’m not looking for a silver bullet, I’m looking for a way to change behavior. If I look at my body and the photos I’ve taken, i would put myself somewhere between 28-35% bodyfat at 240 pounds. While I was a rugby player, I was happy being heavy as it allowed me to play. Now, I don’t want the weight. It slows me down, causes more wear than is necessary on my joints, and it serves no purpose. My goal is to drop to 10-15% bodyfat…the weight is the weight. I don’t know what I can be or what I am supposed to be. If I’m able to function, spend time with my family, and workout with friends then that’s what I’m looking for. I know that I’m going to have to take care of my body as I age, I put it through a lot when I was younger. Hopefully, a slightly lower start point on the bodyfat percentage will help with faster recovery in the long run.

Find the Push

It is interesting to know what you can push thru. However, when you start the comeback it is pretty important to know the difference between the difficult things that you push through and the ones that will break you. For me, I can push through interval training. I hate it, but there is something about the ability to push for 30-240 seconds that I can go hard as long as I know a get a breather. It doesn’t even have to be a long breather, as long as I get something. On the other hand, I get broken by something long and consistent. I can do a 5k on the rower after a bit, I can run 1-2 miles but doing this low and slow demoralizes me. I need to mix it in, but how often?

For me, I will do this 1-2 times per month. Why so infrequently? My goal isn’t to be the world’s best 5k rower or runner. It is to be consistent over the long haul and create a pattern of behavior that allows me to be active for a long time. With that in mind, the ability to do enjoy it over dread it is the most important part. So I do a lot of rowing in shorter intervals. I’ve found that I’m able to maintain a the consistency of my workouts, which has led to increased fitness and stamina. 

So find the type of exercises that allows you to improve and push. Do it and hit your long term goals. 

So tight!

The last week has been the second week of rugby camps…once again, I didn’t workout during the week. I did run around a little (I wouldn’t classify this as exercise), so I wasn’t completely sendentary. However, I find that one of the issues that I have when I do this type of movement is that I don’t stretch at all. By the Day 3 (Wednesday), my body felt like it was being bound-up. So today (Friday), I’m going to work out and get a great stretch to hopefully get things unwound. 

So what do I learn from this, I’ve got to stretch even if I don’t actually work out!

Camp & Travel

For the least couple of years, I’ve been splitting time between the Bay Area and Illinois as I’ve attempted to pursue my career as my partner is pursing hers. This has meant a haphazard approach to our normal support networks including working out (I miss my garage gym a lot!)

However, I’ve been successful in Illinois with a Concept 2 rower and a couple of kettlebells. Just a couple of pieces of equipment have allowed me to stay on track and hit some pretty decent intervals, while focusing on stability through a range of movement over strength. Truth be told, this is what I should be focusing on with my strength. While I’ve been home, I’ve been able to get 4-5 rows in per week and 2-3 kettlebell sessions. It means that I’m staying on track and staying consistent. What has gone amiss, meditation and journaling. It’s funny how the mornings get untracked dramatically with three kids. Quiet and alone time has been hard to come by, but I’ve been grateful to be annoyed by my family!

The big downer was camp. I know 60 boys campers and hours from early morning to late evening. I’m trying not to beat myself up, but I didn’t get a workout in. By the end of the week, I was moving slower and my joints were sore. I know that I need to workout, even if only bodyweight circuits and stretching, to be able to move well. It’s got to be a habit and it probably needs to start in the morning or finish in the evening. I’m ok with not working out completely, but I need to do a better job of doing just a little more.

Back for Real?

It’s been a few years and now I am back again…at least for a post! Over the last two years, I’ve been coaching full time and struggled to find the balance with my own personal fitness. Why? There’s a few reasons.

The first and probably the biggest, I had used playing as a motivation. I knew that if I was fit and strong, my performance on the field would be better. I would be more capable of competing the way that I wanted to compete. As a coach, you lose this aspect of your motivation. I could justify that I could still play touch, throw the passes and strong enough in the gym.

The second, I allowed my injuries to be an excuse. As an old bugger with 17 years of senior rugby and the better part of three decades of competitive sports, I have some issues that are never going to be 100%. From knees to elbows to shoulders, I’ve got janky movement patterns and I have to accept that modifications may need to be necessary!

So what am I doing? What are my goals? Well, the first is that the scale while an important thing, is not going to be a measure of success. At the moment, I would weight between 235-245lbs. I’m not sure exactly, but it is probably about 30-50lbs above what I want to weight post rugby. Although this is a long term goal, it’s not motivating because it doesn’t have the impact on my life. My first goal is 4 cardio sessions per week of between 20-40 minutes. My second goal is 3 lifts per week including bodyweight proficiency movements of between 20-40 minutes. My third goal is 5 meditations per week either with the Headspace app or journaling for at least 10 minutes per time.

So why did I set my goals up this way? Well, I think I need to invest in practice through discipline. This means the development of routines/processes and a focus on the controllable. So why isn’t weight a controllable? It is but it is normally the outcome of a number of a number of other controllable actions. So I am going to focus on the actions and continue moving forward.

So far, I’ve been tracking on my phone with an app. I’ve been more consistent than I was a year ago, but not as consistent as I want to be. I’m going to continue tracking things on my phone, but I’m going to look to blog post every now and then as well. This is for me, so I can look back at my journey. So there it is the re-purposing of the blog from the advice of JSUTrain to the personal story of J-Sut and my training.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

It has been a long time since I wrote a blog for JSUTrain. I took on a new role and needed to give my full attention and focus to that role for USA Rugby. Currently, I am working as the Coach Development Manager for USA Rugby and we have had a busy year. I hope in the near future to get this blog back and running. This blog is based on my personal experience and desire to provide a resource to the Rugby community.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Warm Up:
Mobility: 10 forward hip circles, 10 backward hip circles each leg, 10 forward arm circles each leg, 10 backward arm circles, 10 squats, 10 lunges each leg, 10 pushups, 30 second plank, 10 pushups, 10 forward leg swings each leg, 10 sideways leg swings each leg, 10 iron cross reaches each leg, 10 scorpion reaches each leg.
Heart Rate Spike: 2 x (10m high knees, 10m butt kickers, 10m carioca, 10m falling start acceleration)

Lift:
1. Power Clean and Power Jerk. 5 (sets) x 3 (reps)
2. Back Squat. 5 x 3.
3. Incline Bench Press. 4 x 6.
4. Good Mornings. 3 x 10.
5A. Weighted Chin-ups. 3 x 6.
5B. Dips. 3 x 12.

Conditioning:
Complete rounds of 21-15-9 of Thrusters and deadlift.

Stretches:
Calves, quads, groins, glutes, hips, hip flexors, lower back and chest.